Recently I've had to fill out preliminary paper work for what may be some new doctors in my world and, of course, that comes with the lengthy medical history, prescription list and, dare I say, MRIs and exrays from the beginning to the present so the doctor can see the changes and progression of your "condition." As a result, I had to think about what I'd rather NOT think about as I documented my Medical History, as chronologically, as I could. A daunting task for someone with my medical past and, as I said, a real pain (pun intended) having to remember everything that's transpired in the last eight years. So I ask you all to humor me with the following poem. After all, a person has to have a sense of humor about life, don't they?
THE LAUNDRY LIST
by Patty Lynn
My laundry list of maladies
Are such a pleasant thought.
I do try not to think of them;
I just makes me distraught.
It seems that in the past eight years
The scalpels keep on coming.
If someone mentions surgery
I know that I'll be running.
I understand that cataracts
Develop when you're older,
And chances are arthritis strikes
First subtle then gets bolder.
Don't get me wrong, I know that there
Are others, too, who suffer.
But when it's you, well, you're convinced
That you must have it rougher.
First were the feet, I thought it wise,
To do a "slight" correction,
But over time I wish with that
I had no real connection.
And then the back, wow, that was cute.
But "desperate times," you know,
"Breed desperate measures" and I wish
That I had just said, "NO!"
So what was next, it's hard to keep
These surgeries all straight.
I guess the knees, yeah, they were next,
Two thousand six and eight.
To some replacing both your knees
It doesn't seem so bad,
But I can tell you I can't kneel
And that...it makes me mad.
You see, it's just when I fall down,
Which I am prone to do,
I can't stand up all by myself
And that gets me so blue.
Enough of this, no, I don't ask
For any sympathy.
It's just the way it is, that's all,
And God takes care of me.
My laundry list may be for me
A pain...and literally.
Though difficult it is sometimes,
I won't let it define me.
Besides I'm blessed in many ways,
Good friends and family.
Restrictions, yes, but, all in all,
Life has been good to me.