Monday, March 21, 2011

A LAUGHABLE ERROR

Not long ago my sister forwarded a cute story that was entitled, MISCOMMUNICATION, about an incident in an office that left everyone in stitches.  I was no exception but in my case I thought the story was worthy of a poem.  So, as I so often do, I put pen to paper and the poem below is the result.  Hope you all get a good laugh out of it.  One can never have too many of those.

PEN IS STUCK
by Patty Lynn

The office scene was buzzing
Or laughing, to be clear.
It was the most hilarious...
Event there'd been all year.

A simple situation.
T'was commonplace, for sure.
Our copier stopped working;
There was no simple cure.

So someone, in his wisdom,
Decided he would try...
To remedy the problem.
He took his pen, no lie.

He thought the pen would fix it
Would solve the paper jam.
And then, with sheer abandon,
Stuck in his pen then...damn!

I told him that he'd have to...
Attach a little note,
Went back to do my business.
Didn't see the note he wrote.

I called down to the Help Desk,
Reported what occurred.
I figured that what's done is done,
Needn't be another word.

But soon I heard some laughing
The Help Desk tech cracked up.
Without a space t'ween N and I
The note read, "Penis Stuck!"

Sunday, March 20, 2011

I STUMBLED OVER IT

This may seem like a funny title for a blog, but it's the truth. I was looking for a list I compiled a while back that had some ideas for poems. You guessed it. I couldn't find it (so what else is new). Anyway, what I did find was a poem I started but never finished and I thought it had some merit, so I finished it and decided to share it. I can't help myself. Sometimes I'm a rhyming machine. Hope you enjoy it.

LIKE PULLING TEETH
by Patty Lynn

Now I have often started out
Without a theme or clue,
Remembering a time or place
From memories old or new.

I get a line, it suits me fine,
To rhyme it spurs me on.
Before you know it I've composed,
Concluding with a calm.

For I'm content with what I wrote,
Surprised at my creation.
It may be good, it may be bad,
Depression or elation.

'Cause either way I've come to write
And that fulfillment brings.
It takes some creativity,
Like Puppet Master's strings...

To pull out words and thoughts that rhyme,
Not easy, that's for sure.
Sometimes a poem's like pulling teeth,
The thoughts can get obscure.

But either way I love the task.
It gives such satisfaction...
To tell a story and in rhyme's
My favorite distraction.

I don't expect you all to know
Just why I need to do it.
It just enough that you enjoy
The poem when I debut it.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ

If you're like me this is a warning we're all familiar with.  You can't believe everything you hear, see or read.  Sometimes what we read, for instance, with advertisers and their claims about their product and the incredible things it does, we must be wary as their main objective is to get us to buy what they're peddling.  Recently, someone sent me a forward that was a joke of sorts regarding the properties of some shampoos.
The take on it was so cute it just screamed for a poem, so here it is:

THE WARNING

My shampoo has a warning
I never thought much of,
I love the way my hair feels,
A feeling I just love.

I never saw a link up,
Why it's shampoo, come on.
Could there be something to it,
That I should think upon?

It says, " For extra volume...
And body" it's the one.
Besides it made my hair look...
As shiny as the sun.

But then I started thinking,
More volume, could it be...
The reason why I've noticed
My clothes seem tight to me?

'Cause after all when showering,
Shampoo runs down my back
I rub and scrub all over
"More volume," there's no lack...

Of soap suds, yes, I'm sure of it,
Just why I've gained some weight.
I'm changing my shampoo to Dawn,
And I won't hesitate.

That bottle says that "it dissolves
The fat hard to remove,"
Now that might be a baseless claim,
But one I'd love to prove.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS!

If you're over 50 you remember Art Linkletter and the TV program with the same title as this blog.  This show was hysterical.  Art would ask the kids probative questions and their answers were always so genuine you couldn't help but wish the rest of the world was as authentic.  Talk about transperancy!

This past week my grandson, Gavin, who was observing the irratic, annoying and, yes, naughty behavior of his brother, felt it necessary to chime in with his take on how his brother's acting out should be punished.  The following poem pretty much fills you in on the rest.

ARE YOU THINKIN' WHAT I'M THINKIN'?
by Patty Lynn

Now, I'm a mom of four year olds
Twin boys, can you relate?
If you are not a mom of twins,
You'd better hesitate!

It's different with twins, you see,
Same age--there's just no let up.
They push my buttons all day long.
Some mornings I can't get up...

And face demands--I want to scream,
The "mom" "hey, mom," of it!
My patience's wearing thin, I fear,
Exploding bomb of it!!

But there are times I have to laugh,
To hear the things they say.
They come up with the darndest things.
One quote can make my day.

Like take, for instance, Thursday night,
One twin, exasperating!
Annoying me, his brother, too.
It wasn't worth debating.

Then there he stood, the fed up twin,
Who looked at me and said,
(No moments hesitation, he.
I thought that I'd drop dead.)

"Hey, mom, are you," the twin began,
"Ah, thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"
Then I replied, "Well, I don't know,
Just what is it you're thinkin'?"

"I'm thinkin' that my brother's due
A time out, a severe one."
(I knew exactly what he meant,
His look was a sincere one.)

"Just sitting in the corner, no."
This needs a serious measure
To really get across the point,
To show him our displeasure.

The dreaded spot, the place of fear,
"The downstairs powder room."
And with the door shut," he'd insist,
"Don't let him out too soon."

For that brief moment he was king,
Imposing consequences,
Not he who felt the penalty
And sting of his offenses.

Aligned with me he could impose
To him, his other half,
A punishment that fit the crime.
All I could do was laugh!